how to gain self confidence

How to Gain Self Confidence in 20 Ways

How to build your confidence?

confidenceBuilding your confidence is something that can take time.    The steps on changing your thoughts is really the key to this.  If you change your thoughts and believe in what you think, you can achieve almost anything. 

Below are some great ways you can build your confidence -

  • Take actionBy doing and accomplishing yourself over your fears your confidence will naturally grow.

  • Small steps lead to huge strides forwards.   I have been lower than ‘a snake’s belly’ but however down you feel you are never completely helpless, you just need to take things a step at a time.

  • You have courage inside even if you don’t believe it right now.  Don’t think of yourself as a coward or loser in life. Panic attacks sufferers are some of the bravest people I know.  To live in constant fear requires so much courage.
  • Act confident
    Even when you feel anxious inside do not show it.  If you act outwardly confident and positive, then your internal feelings will start to follow suit.
  • Failures and setbacks are character building.  What makes people successful are there unsuccessful experiences in life.  Our perception of failure tends to sap our confidence.  So the objective is to build a successful foundation and use setbacks as a positive experience to find ways to succeed.
  • Pat yourself on your back every now and again.  Successful people don’t berate themselves when they get things wrong.  They move on from their failures and really commend themselves when they have successes.  There is no harm in giving yourself a massive pat on the back and talking yourself up when you can manage to do things you haven’t done in years.

  • Get dressed as if you have to go out.  People with severe anxiety who are signed off work tend to stay in bed until late, not have a proper breakfast then watch TV.  DON’T DO THIS.  Get up by 8 as if you have a routine, have a shower, get shaved or put your make-up, dress smartly and go have a breakfast as described in my eating plan.  It makes such a difference if you start the day as if you have real purpose.  It also helps to overcome the dreaded morning anxiety and depression.

  • Get rid of those negative thoughts.  Your self-talk over the years has probably degenerated into being very negative.  Just keep a mental tab all day of what you’re telling yourself.  I bet you will be amazed about how many things are causing you stress which don’t need to.  The car that pulls in front of you, the boss that asks you to do something, the phone ringing when you’re eating your dinner, etc.  These are all facts of life we cannot avoid, but sometimes we turn them into something far more stressful than it needs to be.

How to Gain Self Esteem


  • Be Positive. Linked to the above, you have to make a conscientious effort to promote your wellbeing. My tips here are to tell yourself positive affirmations before you sleep this will make you wake up with a more confident manner.  When you’re not under pressure just tell yourself how great you are, how you love and approve of yourself, etc; this will help when you need that inner belief.  The moment you doubt yourself and you are about to walk away from your fear (perhaps like you have always done and give in), just affirm to yourself whatever you are afraid of that you have the power within to overcome it.

  • Learn more about yourself.  We are all different and we all have strengths and weakness.  The more you understand what you need to do to make yourself a happier person then do it.  I can’t tell you what your hobbies and interests are but get involved and get motivated.  Your life will be so much fuller if you engage with life and look after yourself as well.

  • Help other people.   The more you give away the more good luck and success comes to you.  Its sounds a bit corny but it really works.  It’s amazing how your self esteem will rise if you learn to help other people or animals.  Just making a difference spreads the love around and it’s a makes the world a much nicer place.  Help other people for free and they will remember this all their lives and you will be surprised what comes back to you.

  • Preparation is the key.  You can increase self confidence enormously just by being prepared for certain things.  We all know to a certain extent what challenges we are going to face, so it’s best to prepare to face the day.  You would not take an exam without doing any revisionConsider life as an exam and we must prepare for what we may face.

  • Don’t put off things just because there difficult.  If you meet a challenge head on you will nearly always find it was not as difficult as you thought.  If you do hit a brick wall and find you can go no further, well at least you tried and you know to go down another route.  There is nothing worse than putting off a task because it’s difficult as this leads to anxiety (worrying about future events).

  • Knowledge is the key.  I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for knowledge.  I certainly would still be suffering from panic attacks if it wasn’t for people like the late great Claire Weekes books or other reading material on my resource page.  If you want to get more confidence and feel better then I thoroughly recommend reading my tools of trade.

How to Increase Self Confidence


  • Exercise.  Simple exercise is the key to making yourself feel good.  If you’re feeling good you will feel confident.   Exercise releases all those feel good chemicals that we all want.  Get over the myth that when you feel tired after work you don’t feel like exercising – exercise will give you more energy not less!

  • Be humble.  Some people believe in order to be confident they have to be arrogant but there missing the point.  People want to be with other people they relate to and can empathize with.  If you talk down to people, they will not want to interact with you.  Be humble and grateful for who you are and what you have.

  • Smile MoreSounds a bit silly but it really does affect your mood and make a difference to how you act.  It’s very easy to do and it creates a much better aura around you and tells your whole body to relax and engage with people.

  • Do you focus on the solution or the problem?  Anxiety sufferers tend to focus on their feelings rather on what they can do to change those feelings.  Every one of the key steps in my program focuses on ways to overcome this.  Big tip, the less you concentrate on your anxiety and the more you focus on hobbies, diet, relaxation, etc the better you will feel.

  • Stand tall and speak slowly.  Confidence is about being a leader.  Really watch David Cameron or any politician speak next time.  You will not see them slouched with their hand over their mouth mumbling something.  Generally they stand tall, project there voice slowly and confidently.  Politicians act this way because they want your vote.  They are trying to portray themselves as a leader. By doing this they are acting as if they know what they’re doing (quite often they don’t though!).  Business leaders do exactly the same thing or your boss may do this.  The point is if you can master the art of portraying confidence by using these techniques, you can gain confidence by being treated as more important.  A good place to start this is trying on your children (if you have them). 

  • Set small goals to break habits.  By following my program I have overcome many of my worse habits (although I still have a few!).  Take action to break these habits.  Start small.  Giving up smoking would be a huge habit to break.  So a good starting point is to give up eating sugary snacks mid morning or afternoon.  Instead if you’re hungry eat an apple or nuts.  Better still have 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day to stop you picking at food.  Whether it’s related to your negative thoughts, exercise, not having enough me time, arguing, too much alcohol; just break the habit down one by one.  This will bring confidence knowing you do have control over your life and will give you the added bonus of making you feel so much better. 

Getting your confidence back is something YOU and only YOU can do.  Keep training your mind, body and soul; it will make you stronger person in the long term. 


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